Shamanism

I know I have briefly mentioned this here before in the past, but now is the time to share more about my journey. The journey to shamanism was quite a winding path. I have always been spiritually passionate, (I am a Scorpio that's inescapable for us. ;) When I was young I was raised in the Missouri Synod Lutheran church. Not a very progressive church to say the least. When I was involved in a youth organization in the church we were to do the service on youth Sunday. They were looking for a volunteer to read the lessons. I volunteered and they kept passing me over. Finally when I asked why I couldn't participate I was told girls weren't allowed. When I approached the pastor later and asked why not, he said, "because women aren't of god, their only route to god is through a man. OMG! If I had been big enough I would have punched him. I was horrified and completely turned off. I still had thoughts and questions, but I wasn't about to express them.
When I got engaged my fiance was catholic, and I wanted to understand his religion, so I took the RCIA classes. I studied right alongside everyone. I have to say I was not popular. I asked questions that were frowned upon. The priest actually yelled at me out of frustration. When it all came to a conclusion they assumed I would be participating in the baptism. I informed them I had done it simply as an opportunity to learn. Once again a not so popular decision. I attended mass with my husband, but it was simply an obligation. The was little to no spiritual stimulation. When we divorced I never went back. As a matter of fact they only contacted me to send me a form for an annulment. I don't begrudge him the release, but really? We got married, whether they want to acknowledge it or not.
When I left I did a lot of soul searching. I knew deep down that there was a hunger, a hunger for a connection, a connection with something bigger than me. There was a space in my soul that had never been filled. I knew it was time to look deeper into that. I tried to start with what was familiar, I went to a Lutheran church. This time a less conservative one, but Lutheran none the less.
It didn't take long to discover that I was no longer a Christian. Under scrutiny it just didn't hold up for me. I needed a deeper connection to the earth. The cycles of nature spoke to me, they made sense. I also found myself rebelling against everything I had thought as a child. I think some part of me believed that if my childhood beliefs weren't true then maybe the opposite was true. I spent a good 7 years exploring Dianic belief systems. From this side I see how much of this was reaction. Reaction to the fact that the feminine hadn't been honored in my initial upbringing. But obviously this system is just as out of balance as the opposite. I had a lot of fun, but to stay there would have been just as damaging as the other.
From there I studied Native American beliefs, Huna, Hinduism, Sikh, Buddhism and Judaism. I found myself looking for the common threads that run through all of the belief systems that I have studied. Whether you call it meditation or prayer time focused on quieting your mind and heart are recommended in all of them. The Golden Rule is another, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. As you can see it's a good way to live regardless of your religion/atheism/agnosticism. The other common thread I have found is to live your beliefs through your actions every day. Many of us have beliefs that we leave on the nightstand every morning when we leave the house. This is one of my impetus to study shamanism.
One of the things that struck me deeply in my travels around the world is the number of people in other cultures that live their beliefs every moment of every day. Spiritual practice is first nature to them. I don't care what your beliefs are (as long as you aren't intentionally hurting yourself or others) if you are truly living them I admire that. In India you can't get in a taxi without there being a personal altar with incense lit. In Thailand it's simply a part of daily life to stop at the temple to meditate. I was struck by this and it became my goal to integrate my life in this way.
A shaman is a person who lives this dedicated life, who walks between the worlds through this dedicated connection. They listen to their soul through their constant spiritual practice. They value the process sometimes to the exclusion of the destination. The tradition I am studying is called the Patchakuti Mesa Tradition. It is a cross cultural form of shamanism. You can integrate your beliefs because there is very little dogma. It is primarily about the process. The process of connecting, observing and acting.
If you have ever read any of Tom Brown Jr's books you will recognize this as the "active meditation" that Grandfather speaks of. (If you haven't, I recommend you do.) At one point Grandfather stands up from the fire and says someone needs him. The boys ask how he could possibly know this. His response is that if we are all connected how could he not know? I do believe we are all connected, we are all part of a whole. I believe that connection supersedes all thought of separation. I think that is our primary wound, the wound that we all strive to overcome. From birth we create this thought of separation and aloneness. We think that because we all live inside these skins, that we aren't connected. My prayer for my path is to overcome that thought in myself and all those I come into contact with every day in every way.